the quite sassy

anyways, what three topics tonight hm?? how about...the Super Awesome Space Ship (acronym S.A.S.S) evil robot plots, and...monkey butlers

S.A.S.S
basically, this is the coolest space ship in existence. it can time travel and go through black holes. it would be super awesome, and would have a VERY sassy super computer. we would be like, is that a black hole and it would be like NOOOOO, ITS A FLOWER. and we would all be sasstronauts who would travel with david sasslehoff, the sassquatch, drink sasspirilla, and visit the sassafras springs. and we would go on epic adventures fighting aliens and traveling through time and riding dinosaurs. giant t-rexs. It would be just total awesomeness. I believe that this is the best idea ever in existence. alec is in charge of figuring out trajectory patterns to fly through black holes, and berry is in charge of figuring out time travel. Oh, and I need to build this sucka. so we better get started.

Evil robot plans
robots. oh no. number three and five threat to america, and part of the number 1 threat, robot bears. First we will start out with them doing chores, and menial work, but then put into work, and powerful positions, and then become president, and then stage an uprising over the humans. then the flight of the conchords will sing the humans are dead. because the robots used poisonous gasses, and they poisoned our asses. (actually our lungs). and there is only one type of dance. the robo boogie, but wait, the robot. oh yes... two dances. of course. and there is no more maltreatment of the elephants. well there is no elephants. well yes but it is still good...

monkey butlers
OH MY GOD. WHY DON'T WE HAVE THESE YET? How totally awesome would it be, to have a little chimp, with a tuxedo on, running around your house, doing stuff and getting into comical misadventures? That could be a movie plot. monkey butler shenanigans as he runs around. it would be helpful and semi awesome. Really give me one good reason that you would not want an incredibly well trained monkey butler?

TEN THINGS THAT ARE AWESOMENESS
1. the S.A.S.S
2. monkey butlers
3. flying cows
4. kittens
5. The Office
6. lasers
7. pancakes
8. bacon
9. fighting robots, especially ones with like saws and stuff that are like BLARGFHGHGH
10. DBZ.

quote of the week
My friend said to me, "I think the weather's trippy." I said, "No, man, it's not the weather that's trippy, perhaps it is the way that we perceive it that is indeed trippy." Then I thought, "Man, I should've just said, 'Yeah.'" -Mitch Hedburg

my 1st blog!

Hi, this is the blog writer, Sam Anderson, and I'm just going to talk about lets say, 3 topics at random probably once a week. this is my first post, so if anyone wants to say anything, just send me a message on facebook or something. ANYWAYS, lets get started. 

AMERICAN IDOL.

Okay lets get started with the american hit, idol. This show I mean really? I guess within the top 6 you have some OK singers, but really? are these audition freaks really necessary? Plus it is very obnoxious how they all are like OMG OMG YOU ARE SOO GOOD and then the other ones are like N000N0N0N0N0N0 you are awful and than simon makes a sarcastic comment and I do NOT. approve. and everyone loves it why? its like seriously? they should make it cool, like if they get through, they have to fight with like, laser blasters to get to the top 12. but the only way to get ammo is to sing really good. so if you get no ammo cause u suck at singing, then you get shot up.  I would watch that. it would be so cool! lasers and singing. maybe they could get a cat version, so they could have... LASER CATS. that would be epic!

LASER CATS

Seriously, can someone give me something cooler than laser cats? everybody loves 2 things. lasers and cats. and if you don't, then leave cause no one cares about your opinion. I'm like, man I wish my cats could shoot lasers. Anyone else see that SNL skit with laser cats? it is sooooo cool. Man, why can't leo go around shooting bad guys with lasers? we could make movies! Wow, why hasn't anyone made a movie about a laser cat secret agent who was to go save the world! seriously! i would definitely go see it! and it could be called, LASER CATS, attack of the not laser shooting ninja cats! and the final fight scene would have a ninja cat vs a laser cat, and it would be the definition of epicness. I think Chuck Norris would need to be in it to train the EBG ninja bad guy cats. and they would be evil. they would do...evil...stuff. and Ilana would be the evil cat mastermind. or her voice would be. maybe just a character based off of her. cause she is pretty evil. ANYWAYS, the good cat would have to save the world from the evil ninja cat enslaving all the cats to make catnip for him/her and he/she would have a really evil laugh like KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE. and it would be awesome. like the epitome of awesome.

Dinosaurs

If I could be any animal, I would totally be a a dinosaur. They are the epitome of cooltasticalness, and if I was like a T-rex, I would just be magnificent. Just imagine for a second going in your car one day, and you see a T-Rex! You would be like OH. MY. GOD. that is so awesome! and I would be like RAWWERRRRRR and eat an elephant. I couldn't eat humans, they would be way too small, so id have to eat elephants. they are the only large enough meat source for a t-rex. ANYWAYS, I would just chill yah know? just roam around, being a dinosaur, having fun with my non dinosaurian buddies, going to school, (I'd be a genius dinosaur. I would be fluent in dinosaur english and Portuguese.) they would have to accommodate, due to the fact that I am a 20 ton 100 ft. tall dinosaur, but oh well. We would manage. I probably would let people like make a harness and ride me, and we would have to have T-Rex specific roads so i didnt crush stuff, but it would all work in the end. and i would be like, im not going to a zoo, im a dinosaur. bring it.

I will now list 10 things that are awesome every week, and i will continue to post the old ones, so lets see how long this list can go!

LIST OF ALL THINGS AWESOME.

1. Chuck Norris

2. Laser cats

3. steak

4. ninjas

5. flying cars

6. really any flying transportation vehicle that isn't already airborne

7. anything we can rub in Europe's face

8. America

9. Freedom

10. Rambo

and a random hilarious quote!

I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades... or a game of fake a heart attack-Demetri Martin

as always,

Sam Anderson